Dirt Angel

The languid days when the beaches were banned. How I craved to catch a glimpse of her. She felt my longing, and after an especially long and arduous run, directed me up a steep hill. I ascended, feeling the subtle changes of air temperature on my bare skin. For a moment I envision myself gliding through her cool waters, and the quiet thrill of discovering an unexpected pocket of warmth. At the summit I find her, and weep with relief for the spaciousness of the horizon line. Immersing myself in her watery embrace and metronomic consistency with my eyes.

Dripping in sweat, I squat down. Elbows pressed into my inner thighs, head hanging low, the warm tendrils of a delicious release spreads across my entire spine. I comb my fingers through your soil, gently at first- as if searching for golden coins. Then I begin to cut deep ravines into you, like a lover’s scratch in the throws of ecstasy. Until there is dirt lodged firmly under each and every finger nail. 

I rub the dirt, pebbles and wood chips into my sweaty skin, relishing in the alchemical ability to make mud. I breathe in your sweet musky smell. Soil sticking to my skin, leaves nestled into my hair. I lie down on my back, legs bent so I can press my lower back into you. Its tender throbbing begins to dissipate with every breath. 

I lie there on this small secret patch of soil, suspended between earth and sky, and close my eyes, arms outstretched like a fallen angel. I turn my palms downward and begin to imagine you sending your roots upward to envelop me. My clothes melt off my body until I lie there pale and naked as your roots firmly grip my tender flesh. We play this game of root bondage. I don’t resist. I simply surrender to your tightening hold. Your roots snake around my limbs and naked torso, and my skin turns a light pink where your bark touches it— tethering me to source. 

My sacrum releases further and flowers open. I flutter the petals of my eyes and gaze into the sky through the doilies of the intricately patterned leaves. Breathing in an unending circle of inhale and exhale. I withhold nothing. I surrender everything. You hold my full weight in your benevolent hands. Then I realise that you are the most consistent support I’ll ever know.